Outrageous kickstart

by Monique (Schandalige Vrouwen)

By means of this kickstart I show you how you can (re) get in touch with yourself and how you can get a clear picture of who you are and what you have to do!

They are the first steps to get moving, because you can always start! Instead of asking yourself ‘It has to be different, but how?’ start in small steps with what you do know. The rest will come naturally! I promise

STEP 1 Dare to trust your intuition again. Date with yourself

Women possess a tremendously valuable dose of intuition and feminine power. However, we have been taught that for every choice we want to make, we must have a clear reason, rather than relying on our gut feeling to point us in the right direction. Or that we have to work with the same amount of energy and decisiveness every day to achieve our goal, instead of listening to our body and using our energy more intelligently. We suppress our feminine power and wave our intuition away and that is such a shame! And it is no longer necessary.

To organize your life in a way that brings out the very best for YOU, you have to learn to trust your intuition (again) and use your feminine power so that it also works for YOU!

From now on you plan 1 hour per week for yourself and you look for silence to make contact with yourself. This can be done in many ways, a walk in nature, an extended bath, writing it off, or meditating. Does it sound too floaty to you? Go do it first, then we’ll talk. You take yourself seriously and that’s why you never miss a date. You are also not allowed to do anything for someone else during this appointment! (so you don’t fold the laundry in silence, for example)

“Her intuition was her favorite superpower. ”

Step 2 Writing assignments

The following writing assignments ensure that you listen to your feelings without judgment, blockages or convictions and that you give this space on paper. You can easily carry out these assignments during the dates with yourself, but you can of course plan this completely differently.

  • What makes you happy?

That’s right! This is a very simple question. But is the answer to this simple? Can you write down without hesitation, expectations and beliefs what makes you happy? Bring it on!

  • What do you dream of?

If you start today with what makes you happy, it doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams anymore. You can ALWAYS dream! Dream big and remember, to get to your dream you are in exactly the right place. All your dreams may be there. They don’t make you selfish. They can be there, even if you don’t think you need them at all. Shamelessly write down all your dreams!

  • What are you good at?

Now look at yourself. Everything, or at least a lot, of what comes easily to you, you take for granted. What comes so easily to you that it no longer even feels like a talent or where you think: everyone can do that!? Not so! Everyone, including you, has natural talents. Use these glasses to write down what you are good at!

  • What do you also want to be good at?

Write down your beliefs that you want to let go because they are not true, or no longer serve you. Then write down what you also want to be good at, now that you have let go of these beliefs.

  • What are your fears?

You may now be thinking: “How am I going to get it all done? What if it doesn’t work? What if no one is waiting for me? What if…” Very logical and normal. But it’s a shame to let you get in the way. Without fear, no growth. It is good to be aware of your fears so that you can recognize them faster and make a different decision at that moment. What’s stopping you from growing? Write on those fears!

“Do one thing every day that scares you!”

  • Make choices!

Step by step you come (again) closer to yourself. You take yourself seriously, by making time and space and checking with yourself what makes you happy. What you still dream of, what you are already very good at, what is holding you back and what fears can help you on your way. And now? Action in the taxi! What choice can you make today to take immediate action?

Make a choice and go for it. You don’t have to know everything and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Make a choice, no matter how small, and it will flow. You start moving and from that movement answers and new insights come your way. You can and may always go back after your choice. Turning right now doesn’t mean you can never turn left again. Why not? Is that a rule? What will they think of you going left after all? Does it matter? At least you tried. You have moved and you have grown.

You are that powerful outrageous woman who freely and shamelessly chooses for herself.

Has your fire been lit and are you ready to choose even greater and more outrageous for yourself? Do you have your dream clear and can you use some help to make rigorous choices to realize it? Do you want to reorganize your life, so that you come into its own in this, but could you use a kick in the ass?

I am here for you darling!

I turned my life around, threw certainties overboard and started living again. My way! It is possible, also for you.

Take a look at, send me a DM or email: ( and I’ll be there.  

Why living in connection is difficult (and how you can still do it)

By Evi Dekker-Weger (Nieuwe Mama’s) 

In my 2 previous blogs you gained more insight into the connection with yourself and how you can consciously look for it more often. You may have already started working on it in the meantime and have applied some of the tips. Was it easy for you or did you run into blockages? You may even have the feeling that living in connection isn’t quite as easy and fun as you expected. That’s fine and certainly doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong: I got you!

I write this blog for a reason, of course: I want to challenge you to persevere and not to lose heart, especially when it feels exciting or you feel that the whole life in connection is not for you. If you keep playing with it and give it a chance, the most beautiful things can happen for you and a lot will change (positive).

Growing Yourself

We hear so often that if we live in connection with ourselves and really listen to our dreams and desires, anything is possible and we can create our most beautiful life. And although I largely agree with this, I also think it is very important to add that it does not have to feel that way right away and that you will certainly not manifest your most beautiful life from today to tomorrow without any effort by only to be in touch with yourself. Organizing your life by relying completely on your inner wisdom takes courage, a lot of trust and taking difficult choices.

It also means that you can get to know yourself completely, bring out everything in yourself, dare to look at all fears, all doubts and all ugly sides of yourself. It is certainly not the route with fewer obstacles, pain, frustration and of least resistance. But what it certainly is is the path that will bring you satisfaction, allow yourself to grow and prosper, and the path is for you to map out all by yourself – however you wish.

Jumping without a plan

I mention this to tell you that you are meant to encounter bumps, frustrations and pain if you trust your gut feeling. Making exciting choices and having bloody honest conversations are also part of this. Seeing traits you don’t like about yourself and uttering words that someone else might not appreciate; listening to what you feel and trusting the decisions you make – even if they don’t seem logical and you may not be understood by those around you; it’s all part of it.

Just like discovering new talents, special qualities, hidden treasures; living adventures and gaining experiences that you would never have had if you had not followed your heart, had not mustered the courage, had not dared to jump without plan and control.

let it go

Letting go in particular can be an enormous challenge. Living from connection invites you to let go of control over what seemed controllable until now; it asks you to let go of that which seemed safe to that which excites you; it shows you that what felt certain was never certain and that sometimes taking a risk is the only way to experience more love and happiness. In addition, it asks you to look at your life from a different perspective, to be open to new insights and it gives you the opportunity to rearrange everything according to your own rules and conditions – to live your way.

Fall and rise

This can evoke a sense of freedom and curiosity, but it can also feel unstable, risky and insecure. It can be both: the enthusiasm next to the uncertainty, the curiosity next to the fear, the freedom next to the desire for stability and security.

Living from connection – as you can see and perhaps have experienced yourself – is not just about roses. It is difficult and can be full of challenges, especially in the beginning – when you are still so attached to living in apparent security and in the way you are used to. It may also be hard for you, because as soon as you dare to be honest with yourself and your environment, you will notice that your honesty is not always appreciated and it can be very tempting to shoot back into old patterns. Know that that too is not a disaster! It’s only logical and human. I don’t know (and am) no one who manages to always and at any time of the day make all the choices from connection or to choose consciously. Sometimes I find it ridiculously tiring and laborious and I’ve had it with all that growing, developing and listening to my feelings, but in the end I always return to it – because I know that this is the only way I can be my authentic self and can realize my desires.

No short cuts

If someone promises you that it’s easy, that it takes no effort and that life in connection is only fun and enjoyable

If it is valid, then you are almost certain that the person has never tried to really live in connection. That’s why I can’t stand all those ‘happiness gurus’ who tell you that anything is possible if you just believe in it. Don’t get me wrong: Visualizing and manifesting are powerful and beautiful tools to create your most beautiful life, but without taking the bumps, looking at dark sides, without courage and confidence, without actually taking steps, you will get there. do not come!

There is no short cut and no quick fix. It’s all part of it and we can only grow in it if we are willing to learn the lessons that come with it.

How can you deal with it when things go wrong or if you experience a setback, despite having trusted your gut so much?

Be aware and listen to what is happening in you at that moment. What feelings arise? Where does the pain or frustration come from? What lesson can you learn in this?

Give yourself permission to be angry, tired, sad… and feel the pain and then try to return to the connection with yourself to re-tune and listen to the answers to the answers you need.

Being aware of this and seeking the connection is an ongoing process and there will also be periods when you feel the connection less or have no need to look for it. Do not expect too much of yourself and give yourself the space to discover how you want to fill in this process – that is of course also possible in your own way.

My last tip is therefore: keep trying it, play with it, see what this process may look like for you and give yourself all the time to discover what works for you.

Keep looking for the connection and be amazed!

If you have any questions, you can always send me an email at:, I like to think along with you if you get stuck in something.

And if you want to deepen the connection with yourself through valuable insights and clarifying exercises, sign up hier for the  FREE masterclass: CONNECTION – The Connection with yourself, which you can do at your own pace, where and when you need it (online) can follow.

Love and trust your process,

Evi – New Mamas

Do you recognize this? Sometimes motherhood is more about surviving rather than living fully.

By Annelies

Do you recognize this? Sometimes (working) motherhood is more about surviving instead of living fully…

When you were pregnant you probably had ideas about motherhood, what it would be like and how you would implement it. You have arranged a nice crèche or childminder and you may be taking some extra leave. And you’ve decided never let your children have breakfast in front of the TV… Certain things you would do exactly as your parents did. Other things you would do very differently because you have your own ideas about it.

But in real live it turns out to be so different from what you had previously thought. Something with theory and practice.

When you have just given birth, it is of course fan-tas-tic to finally be able to hold your little one in your arms. But it is also, very often, looking for a new rhythm with the three of you. And there are sometimes factors that can make that first period extra difficult. Maybe giving birth was tough and the physical recovery also takes its time. Or did you want to give your baby breastfeed but that doesn’t go the way you hoped. Does your little one cry a lot and you have no idea why. And even if everything goes very well with your child, it is a period of searching for a new balance as a family. And with each subsequent child, it is also a search for a new rhythm with each other.

If you have found a bit of routine as a new mother, you often start working again fairly quickly, and you have to switch again. Perhaps you are one of those mothers who are really looking forward to going back to work. So that you can have something for yourself again and maybe you are dreading having to go back to work and leave your little one with someone else. But however you stand, the inevitable moment when you have to go back to work will come anyway. And just to reassure you, before you know it you’ll be back in the rhythm and you as a family are used to this new situation.

But then there are so many things that you “MUST” do…that as a mother you quickly slide down…..

– you take care of your child(ren),
– you have to work,
– the household has to be done,
– you still have a social life and want to maintain it,
– you have to exercise to stay fit

The result is that you often get out of bed tired and that the days almost seem to pass by. You might even ask yourself, ‘Is this it? Being a mother and how I had envisioned it?”.

You are surviving instead of living to the fullest!

But know that there is another way! Motherhood is the perfect entrance for your personal development and growth. If you are willing to really explore what is important to you and what matters to you in life, now is the perfect opportunity

And if you dare to seize this opportunity, you will go from survival to living life to the fullest!

In this first article I challenge you to do some self-examination. This will help you in order to change things. The following articles will help you to make sure the changes are permanent.

Are you ready?!… Let’s get started:

Before you start, make sure you take some time for yourself. Make sure you are in a place where you cannot be disturbed, put your mobile on silent and put on some nice music. Make sure you have a nice cup of tea or coffee and a pen and paper so you can write.

I would like to ask you to do a writing exercise based on ‘Flow’ writing. How does that work… You are supposed to write about a certain topic for about 10 minutes continuously. I’ll give you the topic you can write about. If you have no idea what to write, just write that. The intention is to keep writing so that you really write from your feelings and your intuition. Do not get too much in your head. It often provides wonderful insights into your way of thinking and helps you to make decisions.

If this is new to you, know that the often you do this the easier it will be. In the beginning it can take a little time. And know that there is no right or wrong but that it is really your process.

The sentence you can write about is the following:

The grade I give to my current life is a…. Because….(write!)

ps. It’s not necessarily about the number, but what the number stands for.

If you like you can share the insights with me via I am curious whether you are satisfied with your current life situation. Or you are mainly surviving instead of living. If you have any questions about the exercise or about the results of the exercise, feel free to email me or send a DM via instagram @coachannelief. I would like to think along with you.

Would you like to receive more tips? Download my e-book for free with 6 concrete steps to a life in balance!
For more information you can take a look at my website:
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You’re also more than welcome in my free community:

Until the next article!

3 simple tips to strengthen the connection with yourself

PART 2: 3 simple tips to strengthen the connection with yourself By Evi Dekker-Weger (Nieuwe Mama’s)

In my last blog I discussed what the ‘connection with yourself’ means and how you can (re) find it. As promised, in this new blog I share how you can strengthen the connection with yourself in 3 simple ways and make more frequent contact with your ‘inner voice’.

You have probably heard or felt your inner voice – a soft, powerful direction indicator within yourself – before. Maybe you often follow her advice, maybe you ignore it because it seems too exciting, too illogical or too risky – but chances are you know exactly what I’m talking about.

My story When I first became aware of this powerful feeling I didn’t know what to do with it. Her advice felt right, but on the other hand, it didn’t suit me at all. It didn’t fit into my life, I would have to adjust everything and every step I came up with would take away all stability and certainty – I (who loved certainty and preferably had a plan for every situation) was of course not going to do that !

In this way I continued to follow what felt logical, clear and safe to me – until I encountered myself hard. I was in a relationship that felt safe, but that I didn’t love enough from the beginning. I was studying to prove something, without being really passionate about the subject. I did what I thought I had to do because everyone else did it and got so used to it that I had no idea what I really wanted.

Slowly the feeling in myself became bigger and stronger. I felt trapped, increasingly unhappy and couldn’t ignore it no matter how hard I tried.

I had no choice but to be brave and follow my gut. That’s how I left my boyfriend and with that the group of friends I had been part of for 5 years. Later I went on a trip, emigrated to the Netherlands and eventually also stopped my studies. I left everything behind, had no idea what the future was going to look like and I had no plan A or B for the first time.

However, as soon as I had let go of everything, there was room for the new, for what my ‘inner voice’ had been talking about all along. The reward for this difficult, brave leap came in the form of my dream man, my family, new friendships, new opportunities and the best part: more confidence in myself and my feelings.

Of course, I don’t always manage to be completely guided by my feelings. I still find it exciting and often illogical, but I am increasingly able to be aware of what is being asked of me and to trust that it will work out, even if there is no plan.

Three techniques In the meantime I have also discovered 3 simple ways that help me to restore and strengthen the connection with myself, when I get stuck, get frustrated and notice that I find it difficult to listen to my inner voice.

I would like to share these 3 techniques with you, which you can apply anytime and anywhere:

1. BREATH When you feel restless and experience inner tension, this is one of the easiest techniques to apply right away: Stand still or sit for a while, close your eyes and breathe in and out 3 times deeply. Focus only on your breathing and your heart rate. Perhaps soothing words arise, you see colors before you or feelings arise that you can listen to.

This is one of the most powerful exercises to immediately experience the connection with yourself again.

2. FOLLOW THE JOY Sometimes we feel like everything is going wrong. We are late for an appointment, coffee spills on our newly put on shirts, the dishwasher suddenly breaks down, our genius idea is not understood and the work meeting turns out differently than we had hoped. Instead of following the tendency (which we often have) to immediately fix everything and come up with a plan B as quickly as possible – the solution sometimes lies in slowing down and letting go. Stop running and stick to your schedule and do something that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be useful and it doesn’t have to be profitable. Ask yourself: What do I want to do now? What would make me happiest now? Trust your gut and let’s go!

This way you not only reconnect with yourself, but you also open your heart and mind to creativity and solutions that are less obvious, but which you may be much more enthusiastic about.

3. CHILD’S POSE When we had recently had a stressful day and both my youngest son and I were tired and overstimulated, he got angry before I put him to bed. Crying and furious, he went into child’s pose and there was no way I could change him. I got frustrated, but when I saw him lying there like that I thought: ‘Hm, that seems pretty nice to me too!’ I lay down next to him in the same position and within a few minutes we were both calm again and I was able to put him to bed effortlessly and relaxed. If you don’t remember the next time and have lost the connection with yourself, try this pose for a few minutes and feel how you slowly strengthen the connection with yourself

I hope these tips can help you to feel the connection with yourself again more often and to strengthen your confidence in this.

If you have any questions, you can always send me an email at:, I like to think along with you if you get stuck in something.

And if you want to deepen the connection with yourself through valuable insights and clarifying exercises, sign up here for the FREE masterclass: CONNECTION – The connection with yourself, which you can do at your own pace, where and when you need it (online ) can follow.

In the next (and last) blog of this series I will tell you more about the challenges you can encounter if you start living more and more from your feelings and how you can overcome them.

Love and until the next blog,

Evi – New Mamas