PART 2: 3 simple tips to strengthen the connection with yourself By Evi Dekker-Weger (New Mama’s)
In my last blog I discussed what the ‘connection with yourself’ means and how you can (re) find it. As promised, in this new blog I share how you can strengthen the connection with yourself in 3 simple ways and make more frequent contact with your ‘inner voice’.
You have probably heard or felt your inner voice – a soft, powerful direction indicator within yourself – before. Maybe you often follow her advice, maybe you ignore it because it seems too exciting, too illogical or too risky – but chances are you know exactly what I’m talking about.
My story When I first became aware of this powerful feeling I didn’t know what to do with it. Her advice felt right, but on the other hand, it didn’t suit me at all. It didn’t fit into my life, I would have to adjust everything and every step I came up with would take away all stability and certainty – I (who loved certainty and preferably had a plan for every situation) was of course not going to do that !
In this way I continued to follow what felt logical, clear and safe to me – until I encountered myself hard. I was in a relationship that felt safe, but that I didn’t love enough from the beginning. I was studying to prove something, without being really passionate about the subject. I did what I thought I had to do because everyone else did it and got so used to it that I had no idea what I really wanted.
Slowly the feeling in myself became bigger and stronger. I felt trapped, increasingly unhappy and couldn’t ignore it no matter how hard I tried.
I had no choice but to be brave and follow my gut. That’s how I left my boyfriend and with that the group of friends I had been part of for 5 years. Later I went on a trip, emigrated to the Netherlands and eventually also stopped my studies. I left everything behind, had no idea what the future was going to look like and I had no plan A or B for the first time.
However, as soon as I had let go of everything, there was room for the new, for what my ‘inner voice’ had been talking about all along. The reward for this difficult, brave leap came in the form of my dream man, my family, new friendships, new opportunities and the best part: more confidence in myself and my feelings.
Of course, I don’t always manage to be completely guided by my feelings. I still find it exciting and often illogical, but I am increasingly able to be aware of what is being asked of me and to trust that it will work out, even if there is no plan.
Three techniques In the meantime I have also discovered 3 simple ways that help me to restore and strengthen the connection with myself, when I get stuck, get frustrated and notice that I find it difficult to listen to my inner voice.
I would like to share these 3 techniques with you, which you can apply anytime and anywhere:
1. BREATH When you feel restless and experience inner tension, this is one of the easiest techniques to apply right away: Stand still or sit for a while, close your eyes and breathe in and out 3 times deeply. Focus only on your breathing and your heart rate. Perhaps soothing words arise, you see colors before you or feelings arise that you can listen to.
This is one of the most powerful exercises to immediately experience the connection with yourself again.
2. FOLLOW THE JOY Sometimes we feel like everything is going wrong. We are late for an appointment, coffee spills on our newly put on shirts, the dishwasher suddenly breaks down, our genius idea is not understood and the work meeting turns out differently than we had hoped. Instead of following the tendency (which we often have) to immediately fix everything and come up with a plan B as quickly as possible – the solution sometimes lies in slowing down and letting go. Stop running and stick to your schedule and do something that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be useful and it doesn’t have to be profitable. Ask yourself: What do I want to do now? What would make me happiest now? Trust your gut and let’s go!
This way you not only reconnect with yourself, but you also open your heart and mind to creativity and solutions that are less obvious, but which you may be much more enthusiastic about.
3. CHILD’S POSE When we had recently had a stressful day and both my youngest son and I were tired and overstimulated, he got angry before I put him to bed. Crying and furious, he went into child’s pose and there was no way I could change him. I got frustrated, but when I saw him lying there like that I thought: ‘Hm, that seems pretty nice to me too!’ I lay down next to him in the same position and within a few minutes we were both calm again and I was able to put him to bed effortlessly and relaxed. If you don’t remember the next time and have lost the connection with yourself, try this pose for a few minutes and feel how you slowly strengthen the connection with yourself
I hope these tips can help you to feel the connection with yourself again more often and to strengthen your confidence in this.
If you have any questions, you can always send me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org, I like to think along with you if you get stuck in something.
And if you want to deepen the connection with yourself through valuable insights and clarifying exercises, sign up here for the FREE masterclass: CONNECTION – The connection with yourself, which you can do at your own pace, where and when you need it (online ) can follow.
In the next (and last) blog of this series I will tell you more about the challenges you can encounter if you start living more and more from your feelings and how you can overcome them.
Love and until the next blog,
Evi – New Mamas